If you have found your way to this blog, then welcome. I imagine you have a lot going on in your life now, that tends to be the pattern for us all! Life is a constant stream of things to do, relationships to manage, families to tend and so on.
It can be exhausting and stressful, and sometimes we are faced with situations which simply overwhelm our current skills to manage with a sense of calm. With the constant stream of information out there, there is quite a bit of pressure to get it right every time. To know the right thing to say, the right thing to do. I find that we are less forgiving as a society of mistakes and failure. We are quick to judge whether someone has been appropriate in their communications or actions – and we judge ourselves even more harshly. It all adds to the pressure to be perfect.
The pressure to have it all together and be the perfect person can be a recipe for internal pressure that overwhelms and causes exhaustion. How do you find the way out of this and still honour your need to be the best person you can be? This can be a complex process, and every situation will require a different approach.
I believe the first step is always to know yourself. Know your limits. Know when you are at the limit of your tolerance, know early when you are approaching boiling point. Take steps to look after yourself. Recognise when stress has had its way with you. Begin to have a good knowledge of things you can do to lower your stress levels. Trying to manage a situation when you are worked up almost never results in the outcome you are hoping for. Look after yourself first. Think about things when you are relaxed and at ease. We tend to have better discernment when we aren’t worked up.
But this can be easier said than done, I realise this. A household of kids, or financial stress, or a high-pressure job (or no job at all) can be unrelenting pressures. What to do then? I guess it becomes even more crucial to learn self-management strategies, to take an active role in bringing your system back down to calm. This can take a while to learn! And you may learn one way of doing things, then must learn a different way at another time. It is a constant re-adjustment process, of asking yourself questions like:
“What do I need today?”
“What can I actually do to meet my need for….?”
I can hear your response – that there simply is no time for me. And I would say, that carving out space for you is an art that can be learned with a bit of determination and thinking it through. It may be good to have someone to brainstorm with you about where you aren’t giving yourself permission for self-care. Maybe in your case it isn’t that simple – or is it? That’s why it’s good to talk things over with someone. They may be able to point out what you can’t see for yourself.
I am invested in helping people to help themselves. Assisting folks to learn how to bring themselves down from living on the precipice of ‘just holding it together’ to a more ‘breathing out’ living space in their hearts and minds. As we go along in this blog I will talk more about this and lots of other interesting stuff.
Feel free to drop me an email (contact here) with any topics you would like to see covered.
Let’s breathe out together, and see you next time.
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