Obsessive Thinking

Its been a long time since I put a blog together. I had quite a lot going on over the Christmas/New Year period. And then settling back into work – and before you know it – its nearly March.
One of the things I felt I wanted to write about was ‘obsessive thinking’. There is quite a lot in the cognitive behavioural field that is known about obsessive thinking. Honestly, I can’t really say it any better than how Bruce Hubbard PhD at the Cognitive Health Group ( has said it. I suggest you click over there and have a read of his page. But I would like to add my own thoughts.

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Enjoying Life Anyway…

Hi folks! How are you today? Another beautiful day here in Perth, warm and sunny. Although rain is back again over the weekend…ah, rain. Still we should not begrudge rain in this part of the world…

Ok, so what I want to talk to you about today is a skill I don’t believe it comes naturally, and as such, takes a while to learn. It means you need patience and practice practice practice before you get the hang of it. By that I mean, I don’t think it’s easy, but is anything worth having ever easy?
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The most important person in your life who needs kindness is…

It’s important to be kind. Kindness is always needed. I always see memes on social media about being kind because “you never know the battles people are fighting”. I agree this is important, and we can do this in a thousand small ways every day. Being kind to others is an important part of our society and helps to keep the fabric of our relationships together.

But what if there is one person who needs kindness more than anyone else you know? What if there was one central individual who, if they don’t get kindness from you, will simply collapse without it? Who is that main person who needs your kindness more than anyone else? Is it your Mum? Your child? Your friend? Continue reading “The most important person in your life who needs kindness is…”

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What if you are already good enough?

How’s life with you today? The sun is coming out again in Perth…spring is coming! I love the winter, I love the contrast to the hot summer months, but I find I do long for warmer days come August. If you are a gardener (which I am not!), then I imagine this is a great time for you! Time for planting, clearing the weeds, turning the soil….

And in a way, when we do this in the garden, perhaps we could also do this with our thoughts?What old mindsets could benefit from a bit of weeding? What seeds can be planted in our thinking which would grow into beautiful flowers in our thought life? Continue reading “What if you are already good enough?”

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Hello and Welcome!

If you have found your way to this blog, then welcome. I imagine you have a lot going on in your life now, that tends to be the pattern for us all! Life is a constant stream of things to do, relationships to manage, families to tend and so on.

It can be exhausting and stressful, and sometimes we are faced with situations which simply overwhelm our current skills to manage with a sense of calm. With the constant stream of information out there, there is quite a bit of pressure to get it right every time. To know the right thing to say, the right thing to do. I find that we are less forgiving as a society of mistakes and failure. We are quick to judge whether someone has been appropriate in their communications or actions – and we judge ourselves even more harshly. It all adds to the pressure to be perfect.

The pressure to have it all together and be the perfect person can be a recipe for internal pressure that overwhelms and causes exhaustion. How do you find the way out of this and still honour your need to be the best person you can be? This can be a complex process, and every situation will require a different approach.

I believe the first step is always to know yourself. Know your limits. Know when you are at the limit of your tolerance, know early when you are approaching boiling point. Take steps to look after yourself. Recognise when stress has had its way with you. Begin to have a good knowledge of things you can do to lower your stress levels. Trying to manage a situation when you are worked up almost never results in the outcome you are hoping for. Look after yourself first. Think about things when you are relaxed and at ease. We tend to have better discernment when we aren’t worked up.

But this can be easier said than done, I realise this. A household of kids, or financial stress, or a high-pressure job (or no job at all) can be unrelenting pressures. What to do then? I guess it becomes even more crucial to learn self-management strategies, to take an active role in bringing your system back down to calm. This can take a while to learn! And you may learn one way of doing things, then must learn a different way at another time. It is a constant re-adjustment process, of asking yourself questions like:

“What do I need today?”
“What can I actually do to meet my need for….?”

I can hear your response – that there simply is no time for me. And I would say, that carving out space for you is an art that can be learned with a bit of determination and thinking it through. It may be good to have someone to brainstorm with you about where you aren’t giving yourself permission for self-care. Maybe in your case it isn’t that simple – or is it? That’s why it’s good to talk things over with someone. They may be able to point out what you can’t see for yourself.

I am invested in helping people to help themselves. Assisting folks to learn how to bring themselves down from living on the precipice of ‘just holding it together’ to a more ‘breathing out’ living space in their hearts and minds. As we go along in this blog I will talk more about this and lots of other interesting stuff.

Feel free to drop me an email (contact here) with any topics you would like to see covered.
Let’s breathe out together, and see you next time.


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