Having a purpose, feeling like your life has meaning, wanting that ONE THING that is going to define your reality. It’s a pretty big question that we are being asked! What is your purpose? You SHOULD be working in some dream job that fulfils your purpose in the world!! Shouldn’t you???
There is a lot out there in current culture about living your dreams. Expecting that you should have some! That you should have some amazing unifying purpose that drives you forward and is geared towards changing the world!
Really honestly, I just don’t know how realistic that is. Some people do have vision and purpose, but for many this can be hard to come by, or generate. Particularly if there have been setbacks (perhaps in your health) or dead ends (perhaps in your career). And the demand to have one overarching purpose can be very taxing to consider.
So, if you are feeling the demand to come up with a vision or a purpose, I want to invite you to take a deep breath and relax. Yes, just do that right now. A deep breath and relax. For most of us, purpose is something that is created or developed over time, taking into account experience, strengths and limitations, and preferences. It is quite often not something that you wake up with one day and just get on and do, just like that.
I want you to consider that you are a multifaceted being. That is, there are many different aspects of you. You are who you are with your family, then you are who you are with your friends, and then a different you at your job, or studies, a you that creates, a you that rests, a you that enjoys movement (or not!), a you that likes to read, a you that likes to scroll, a you that likes to have money to pay the bills. How, in the face of all these different aspects of you, do you choose which aspect is the prevalent one that defines your purpose? Is it true that we should pursue one thing with all our heart and soul?
But I say, what if your life has more than one purpose? What if you can’t be summed up in just one pathway? What if you could do multiple things and achieve different purposes through doing multiple things?
If that is possible, then you could have your job, which pays the bills to feed the family, and focus on your primary purpose, which may be family focused. Or learning a creative skill outside of work. Or introducing more physical movement into your life. Or being a good friend. Or developing your Instagram account.
Many try to make their job reflect their purpose but this is quite often not possible. Sometimes we have to work to pay the bills and the job simply fulfills this purpose. This can feel a bit empty but sometimes it can’t be avoided. The demands are real. There are bills to pay and possibly smaller mouths to feed. If that is the case for you, do not despair. Find your purpose in your other areas – like I said above, in your caring for your family, for example. Or learning a new skill in your downtime. I’m inviting you to think outside the box, instead of focusing all your energy on your job being the sole source of your sense of purpose. Your purpose can come from many avenues. Don’t limit it to your job. Keep your income and stretch yourself in small ways outside of that (for now, at least).
So, how do you find your purposes? Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- What is important to me? What do I believe in?
- What do I want to contribute to my family, or community, or the world? What do I have to give?
- Am I an entrepreneur? Or do I prefer to be an employee and develop other skills?
- What do I like to learn? Is there something new I can learn?
- What are my strengths? Where do I find my limitations? What don’t I enjoy doing?
- Do I need to introduce a creative element to my life?
- Do I need to focus on my physical health for awhile and improve my fitness?
Good luck, and cut yourself some slack. Purpose can take awhile to forge. Allow the process to take time. I believe you will find multiple pathways with different purposes in each. Follow each along their way. Life can be an interesting and enjoyable journey if we keep an open mind and look for opportunity everywhere, absolutely everywhere, not just in one avenue.
Bronwyn